BIll Windsor's Crimes of Fashion - By OReader

This blog has been many things to many people. We've covered many topics in various ways - parody, illustrations, games, commentary, and we've even delved into the DSM. But, somehow it seems we've overlooked something very near and dear to Bill Windsor.  . . . fashion.

"It was old pro se me against The Ellis County District Attorney Patrick Wilson. Patrick Wilson is the main man. He’s probably typical of many small county district attorneys – not that sharp. Patrick Wilson is bald and always wears what appear to be Walmart suits that have pants that are too tight and a suit coat that is way too short. Sorry to be rude, but this does paint the picture – wouldn’t want anyone to think I was up against a super attorney or a sharp dresser. I didn’t feel that under-dressed in my orange-striped prison jumpsuit and my orange fluorescent rubber shoes. "

The fabulous Mr. Windsor is likely delighted to share fashion tips galore!

Mr. Windsor is wearing a classic navy blazer with khaki slacks. Notice his blazer is adorned with brass buttons. These are the height of fashion (for 1982)!

Let's see what our stylistas have to say about brass buttons for today's hot fashion:

The brass buttons don’t say, “Trusted professional!” They say, “I seem to think I’m a Navy admiral who’s forgotten the rest of his dress blues.”

When I see a gold buttoned blazer, I don't see a blazer. I just see gold buttons. To me, it seems rather garish. Yeah it’s a classic, but so are fedoras.

No thanks to this good old boy look...its lame. I swear this is like the old man’s uniform seriously...look at them all, pleated (disgusting) khakis, with a blue button down shirt, under this most of the time boxy monstrosity.

The whole look is too collegiate or country club, and is too often the default look for guys that don't know how to dress or what to wear. When I see someone wearing one I can't help but think "nice buttons Admiral."

Ouch, that hurts.

Well, that’s just the buttons. Let’s take a look at the fit.

Don’t the sleeves seem just a tad long, and is the jacket supposed to hang down like that in the front? I thought that the shirt sleeves were supposed to peek out, but what do I know? Let's see what the experts say:

 It doesn’t matter what it says on your business card if you’re handing it out with a hand swimming in fabric. It may sound minor, but if the sleeves of your shirt and jacket are not the right length, you’ll look silly.

Most men assume that once their pants are hemmed, they're done. (Bill forgot that step.) But jacket sleeves are just as important, if not more so, to have tailored. Too-long sleeves look careless, and too-short sleeves look dorky. Make sure the jacket ends 1/2 inch above your shirt sleeve. In addition, take care to tailor the jacket width around the bicep and the torso. Most guys' suit jackets are way too roomy, making them look heavier or simply sloppier. (or both)

And now that the expert has mentioned it, what’s up with the way it gaps at around the lapels? It's like Bill found a fashion website while suffering from his tax blindness, and he picked the wrong illustrations from the above diagram.

Yeah yeah, I know what you trendsetters are looking at: those shoulders. Are there shoulder pads underneath that broad spance across the top? Or, is it possible that Mr. Windsor has such a manly physique?

I’m not sure that he even has shoulders.

Well at least when he was in Atlanta somebody knew to get his shirts pressed, though I’m not sure it matters when the shoulders are 3 sized too large. 

More recently, Windsor has been known to shun an iron.

If he can photoshop his eyes, maybe he could smooth out those wrinkles digitally too. Just sayin’ 

(He could probably retire that Lawless America hat too.)

Is this a dress or a shirt? Oh wait, maybe it’s a tunic. 
That’d look great with some jeggings.

And who is he calling tiny feet?
Those are some princess feet if ever I saw them. . .

                                        It'd probably be fashionable to buy hairspray too, 

                                             it’ll really help keep that combover in place.

But, does this all really matter? Let’s look at Bill’s audience. I just know they will be highly judgemental of the mere idea that Patrick Wilson shops at Walmart.

That’s what you wear to go on camera and be in a movie?

Well at least he knows where to find a hat to go with his jacket.

So what does a sharp dressed man look like?

I’d say like this:

Just Before He Loses, Bill Wants to Start a New Game

As Windsor was about to receive his anti-slapping, he tried to remove the case to federal court at his made up home in South Dakota.  Cute trick but only a defendant can do that and even then the proper venue would be in the Texas Federal Court system.  Well lets don't sweat the details as the whole scam is a smoke an mirrors trick anyway.  Windsor knows full well it wont work but he is only trying to stall so he can pretend the deadline passed for an anti-slapp ruling:

"So, the good news is that Bill Windsor called the Clerk of the Court for the United States District Court for South Dakota in Pierre, South Dakota.  The case was docketed.  Windsor v. Joeyisalittlekid, et al (formerly case #88611 in the 40th Judicial District Court in Ellis County Texas) is now Case #14-3020 in the United States District Court for South Dakota.  The Joeys will now have to try to remove it to Ellis County.  But the action of the corrupt judge in Ellis County who had no jurisdiction is wiped out, and Sean D. Fleming and his lying attorney, Barbara Hachenburg, lost on their motion to dismiss under the so-called Texas Citizens Participation Act, and there is no $320,000 judgment against Bill Windsor.  An order under the Texas Citizens Participation Act had to be issued within 30 days, and the 30 days has passed.  Now all they can do is appeal.  If the appellate court judges are honest, they will croak at the actions of corrupt Judge Bob Carroll and this other corrupt judge whose name Bill Windsor never even caught.  Gee, first Bill Windsor beat corrupt Ellis County District Attorney Patrick Wilson in court and then dishonest attorney Barbara Hachenburg.  Pro Se, baby!"

Yeah Bill, you are doing a bang up job as pro-se right now.  Incidentally this is the first time Windsor has acknowledged his judgement to Fleming....even though he can't even remember the name of the judge who gave it.  Repeat after me:  the honorable Judge Davis.

Bill says he received this from the MT DA's office by email:  

"Mr. Windsor:  We will provide discovery when you make an initial appearance in Montana.  You may bring a jump drive for a download of the all the documents.  The file is too large to send via email.  You should have been advised to appear in Montana within 10 days of your release, however I will ask that an appearance be set for January 29 to allow you to arrange travel.  Will that date work?

Thats right, you the criminal fugitive do not get to decide the rules here.  Turn yourself in properly to the MT authorities and they will be happy to show you all the charges (which are too vast for a mere email) you are going to face.  Well Bill doesnt like that response so he tells the DA....in effect, Ellis County is corrupt, you're corrupt, everyone is corrupt and I'm not turning myself in.....but could you do me a solid and still send me all the charges so I can try the case on my facebook page with my fellow lawless terrorists?  Bill is also having a hard time finding an attorney to represent his fugitive self.  But the person who said he was broke and had no money claims he might hire a very high profile attorney to represent him.

Then today, after claiming he was starting up his fake movie filming, now Bill asks his zombies what should be the name of his new book.....ohhh ohhh I know, how about Round America? What is that a sore subject or something?  Oh and bill's fingers are getting carpel tunnel from typing lies.  They are asking for a new host body from which to operate.....the current body must recuse.  Windsor plans to sue his fingers....by and through carpel tunnel.

Bill Windsor Plays the Geezer Card

As Windsor tries to adapt to his new life as a criminal fugitive,  he continues to have difficulty accepting his new reality.  He can file all the new motions and appeals he wants, but without being able to attend any more hearings, his vexi career is over.  He has now adopted his new defense strategy.....I'm a senior citizen how could you arrest me?

Meanwhile, as he continues to name just about every public official in Ellis County as a "Joey" his followers continue to dwindle as it becomes clear to them, once again, that he isn't the least bit concerned with their issues....only his vengeance.  In short, he picked his poison and now he doesn't want to take it.  Its pretty hard to try all his court tricks and stall tactics when he is a verified fugitive from two different states.

Windsor's life story is pretty simple in a way.  He wanted to break the rules to give him an advantage in life.  When he was called on that and sent to court...the court ruled appropriately.  That is what Windsor calls "corruption" and he and his few remaining followers are nothing more than people who can't accept what a court decided in their personal situation.  Thats why Windsor has no proof of anything, and never will.  As he continues to slander, defame and attempt to intimidate public servants, he falls deeper and deeper into his own hole and alienates the few lemmings that are still following him.

Sleep deprivation continues to be Bill's complaint.  That is only going to get worse for him as his own paranoia will start to eat him alive.  Who is tracking him?  Who is calling him?  Does this hotel know who I am?  What happens when they get my bank account information?  Yes, fear and paranoia are reigning supreme in Windsorland.

Day #Whatever, I'm still Alive and Bored Comment Overflow

Fugitive Bill Windsor Tries to Disguise Himself

Now that Windsor is a wanted fugitive in TX and MT, he is starting to let out hints that he never planned on going to MT in the first place.  As he writes about himself in creepy third and sometimes even 4th person....he is giving clues that he is a fugitive and will be one for a long time.  He claims he ditched his phone, reminded everyone that he uses IP hiding software.  He claims that well now that all of his fellow criminals are advising him to not turn himself in....maybe he should listen to them. He is even asking for a PI to loan him his license number so he can look up something illegally. Multiple requests have gone out for "helpers" to help him carry out tasks in the Dallas area he can no longer do.  Anyone considering that at this point should know that they are aiding and abetting a known fugitive.

Windsor is not cut out to be a fugitive.....mainly because he can't shut up and he can't overcome his addiction to filing frivolous lawsuits.  DA Patrick Wilson has Windsor scared, and rightly so.  Just like a cornered animal that is scared, Bill continues to lash out relentlessly with constant lies and defamation as its the only defense mechanism he knows.

Another big problem for Windsor now is his assets.  Was he able to hide them all in time before he had to flee TX?  Will this make it easy for Fleming to collect his $250,000?  Geico their $80,000 and Ellis County their $100,000?  Those are all default judgements and while I'm sure he would love to appeal that.....not being present, along with having no grounds anyway, is going to greatly hamper his appellate process.  What happens when they find the honey pot of Bill's seemingly endless supply of money?  Bill is going to have to be present at the hearings on asset seizure and court document production.  But being present will mean prison.  Yep, Windsor is on the run now and you can't unring that bell, the problem for him is while it may delay his looming prison sentence, its going to greatly hamper his vexatious desires and asset protection defense.